how i wish we can control time.
so i can freeze time and stay at certain point of time.
sadly we cant,thats the cruel reality.
I MISS TIAN JIA,XIAO MAO,XUE CHEN AND ZHANG XI LAH.
i seriously miss them like crazy.
hope they will hurry come back again.
so we can bring them go SHOPPING!!!

the period of time spent at sentosa helped me alot.
despite the complains,we still got the works done.
great work all athletes attendants!!!! Cheers!!
couldnt bear to leave everyone i know at the event,
but it has to end so yah.
its fate to meet you guys!!

LOADS OF MISSES FOR XIAO MAO & DA XIONG!!!!
ps:da xiong replied my mail!!!woohoo~

i only had less than 3 hours of sleep.
reached home at abt 2 last night.
cos me,yiling,bev and kaixiang went to look for the beach volleyball players at their hotel.
actually i suggested going back to sentosa after having our dinner at vivo.
and the rest were crazy enough to accompany me.
thank goodness we were crazy enough.
or we would have missed the lifetime chance.
so we quickly went back sentosa hoping to find the candana players,
but with dissappointment,we realised they checked out to proceed to another country for another competition.
so i asked bev whether she wanna look for the china players she supports.
and thank god we spent quite some time arguing whether should she.
while about to leave,we saw a mini bus turning in and guess what?
WE SAW THE CHINA PLAYERS IN THE BUS.
it was fate i tell you.
so bev got damn happy and excited seeing her idol,TIAN JIA.
i went up to them and asked if they have time for a little chat.
and i got a shock from TIAN JIA'S reply.
she said in chinese "come to our room,anyway we have nothing to do"
can you believe it?
world rank 2nd players you see on tv asked us to her room!!!!
it got us all so damn excited and happy.
someone should have filmed down our faces man!!!!
so we followed them to their room.
wow is the first thing we said.
not bacause the room is so grand,
but it was filled up with their things.all around the room.
so we CHATTED,PLAYED WITH THEM,JOKED,HAD LOTS OF FUN.
i even lie on XUE CHEN'S SHOULDERS!!!!
I LOVE WANG JIE!!!!her nickname is XIAO MAO.
so cute.
that 4-5hours didnt felt like athletes and helpers relationship,
it felt more like friends relationship.
So,i made 4 new friends.
TIAN JIA,WANG JIE,XUE CHEN and ZHANG XI.
they are so friendly and importantly,they are humble.
super humble and nice people.
we took lots of pictures with them but its all with bev.
so we'll have to wait till she gives me the pics.
a whole hell lot of them.
but we actually missed seeing them off at the airport.
which is damn saddening.
i dont know what went wrong but i was there since 730AM.
when we called to check ard 8AM,they were on their way.
but we still missed them.
oh wells,that did ruin our mood.
i miss them like crazy lah.
but i got their email.
so i guess i have to download the chinese software.
hahas.poor bev have to figure out a way,
since her chinese is like rotten?
i think im going over to beijing to find them during the sep hols.
so i should start saving now!!!!
SO HAPPY!!!!!

that is TIAN JIA playing bev's psp while XUE CHEN is looking at her.

say hi to WANG JIE!!!! i love xiao mao,she is so cute!!!

i know TIAN JIA looks funny in her specs.

thats TIAN JIA'S passport i think.she showed us her stuffs. =)

MORE PHOTOS COMING UP!!!!!!

ONE MORE DAY TO MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!
thanks ale,for msging me @ 3plus in the morning.
going to sentosa later on for the volleyball championship.
hope i dont get burnt again.

feeling kinda emo now.
i wonder why too.
and i kinda miss you badly.

There are times when I look in your eyes,
I see the luv that we share, I see the joy inside.
But I didn't see the feelins u hide and now u sayin goodbye,
cause your love has died.
And all I can think about is u.
The way u say u love me too and everytime I close my eyes,I see your face.
My love can never be erased and u can never be replaced. Baby.
Baby girl, y dont u come back to me, y dont u love me anymore.
Baby girl, u know I still care for u, u know I will love u forever more.
There are times when I kiss u good-nite,
I feel the love that we share,I feel the joy inside.
But I didnt feel what u try to hide and now u sayin good-bye,
cause your feelin has died.
And all I can think about is u.
The way u say u love me too.
Everytime I close my eyes,I see your face.
My love can never be erased and u can never be replaced. Baby.
Baby girl, y dont u come back to me, y dont u love me anymore.
Baby girl, u know I still care for u, u know I will love u forever more.


Now i know,Love is a Sin.

woke up with body aches all over.
the feeling is great,i tell you.
went J8 to meet miss fat.
bought me to eat and PRESENTS.
whoohoo.
i'm a HAPPY KID.
cos I LOVE PRESENTS.
and i think she'll be the only one giving me presents.
sadly but yes.
thanks miss fat.for everything.
she was supposed to go malaysia,
but i pulled her along for some function.
so she ended up coming with me.
once again,i'd like to thank miss fat. =)

i live bacause you live.
and i love just to love you.
you are what kept me going all these while.

Now i know,Love is a Sin.

i did something unbelieveable.
played bball for freaking 7 hours!!!
now me and ping are like BURNT.
and surprisingly i was still energetic aft that.
until on the way home la,
journey was freaking long so we fell asleep.
and i made a new crazy friend!!
her big name is JAS.
had lots of fun during balling. =)
we decided we shall ball every fri,great man!!
so i'll get burnt on every friday.YEAH
but the only sad thing about today is,
aft getting burnt today,
im getting burnt for whole of next week.
thanks to the volleyball championship held in sentosa.
WHOLE OF NEXT WEEK.damn man.
i will become bangala after next week.Lols
and mayb *ahem will fall inlove with me for becoming bangala.
fel and ping will know what i'm talking abt.Right guys?
LMAO.


i thought after 7 hours of balling,
would help me not to think of you.
in fact,it made me think of you more.
when i'm tired and worn out,
somehow i wished you were here to drive me on.

Now i know,Love is a Sin.

boring day.
cause you aint there like how you used to.
now you are there for him like a bull.
its something i wish i never knew.
you really treat me like a fool,
dont you?
you hold my hands but left me there.
now my eyes are closing,
but i know when i die,you'll still be on my mind.
you push that dagger right into my heart,
and left me drowning in my own blood.
tell me if you'll be touched,
after knowing all i've done.


is the pain real?
am i really feeling MY pain?
or i'm feeling pain cause you are hurt?

damn man.
my chest hurts when i breathe lah.
i think i am going to die soon.
Sexy,please come to my funeral okay. =)
buck up Legs!!!!dont let cramps defeat you!!!
i dread going school.

Now i know,Love is a Sin.

6 more days to my great birthday,
which doesnt seem to feel great to me.
sadly i'm not looking forward to it.
cause no one gives a damn to it anymore.
is this suppose to be like that as you grow older?
cant be bothered.
deep inside,im still wishing for my cake.

Had basketball training today.
like finally there is a trainer.
it was earth tough man.
guess cause havent been training.
i feel so inferior to all lah can.
my shooting sucks,layup sucks,stamina sucks.
bottom line = i suck.
so i think i should start bucking up.
team is quite enthu.which is GREAT.
cramps cramps go away.
leave my calfs and thigh alone.
classmate sprained her ankle.
so poor thing lah.
Get well soon okay. =)


I'll be there till the stars dont shine,
Till the heavens burst and
The words dont rhyme
And I know when I die, you'll be on my mind.
And I'll love you - always.

Knowing how to be contented is happiness.
thou happiness always comes with heart ache,
you know i'll still go for it.
going the extra mile just to see your smile.
this is a blessing.

Now i know,Love is a Sin.

DRINK DRANK DRUNK.
you know the reason best.

am i really useless?
or am i not good enough?
i have always been a fighter,
but without i give up.
the bomb came fast like the snapping of fingers.
When he holds you close, when he pulls you near
When he says the words you've been needing to hear,
I wish I was him cause those words are mine
To say to you till the end of time.

depressed.saddened.lost.angered.tortured.

i feel like a fool.
for loving you.
when i've lost my cool,
i dont know what i'll do.
you make me drool,
and treat me good.
dont you know,
you make me lost my goal.

Lost.
i feel like a fucking loser.
Condemn me for all i care.
For without you there's nothing i dont dare.

You clearly forgot how it feels.
Turn around and i'm just here.

Now i know,Love is a Sin.
And I know when I die, youll be on my mind.

what should i do to make you notice me again?
how many times must i say i miss you?
when will you ever look and smile at me again?
i get so sick missing you in silent.
if only you would open your mouth.
open up your heart.
talk to me and tell me what i needed to know.
if only you understand what you're putting me through.

Now i know,Love is a Sin.

------------------------------------------------
This romeo is bleeding
But you can't see his blood
It's nothing but some feelings
That this old dog kicked up
It's been raining since you left me
Now I'm drowning in the flood
You see I've always been a fighter
But without you I give up

Now I can't sing a love song
Like the way it's meant to be
Well, I guess I'm not that good anymore
But baby, that's just me

And I will love you, baby - Always
And I'll be there forever and a day - Always
I'll be there till the stars don't shine
Till the heavens burst and
The words don't rhyme
And I know when I die, you'll be on my mind
And I'll love you - Always

Now your pictures that you left behind
Are just memories of a different life
Some that made us laugh, some that made us cry
One that made you have to say goodbye
What I'd give to run my fingers through your hair
Touch your lips, to hold you near
When you say your prayers try to understand
I've made mistakes, I'm just a man

If you told me to cry for you
I could
If you told me to die for you
I would
Take a look at my face
There's no price I won't pay
To say these words to you

Now i know,Love is a Sin.

---------------------------------------------------------------
Now love,if only you'd open your mouth and tell me what to do.
throw that expression you're giving now,and smile to me.
you don't know how much i'm suffering.
i rather you kill me straight.
i don't know how to face the world anymore.
importantly,i don't know how to face YOU.
so why won't you tell me what would make you happy?
what would make you open that mouth of yours?
love,i love you.
but you're hurting me too much.
"when it's most painful,you won't feel pain anymore"
so i will feel pain no more.
now,go ahead and stab me.
with that you will end my sufferings,
meantime you will be happy.

Now i know,Love is a Sin.

depressed depressed depressed
depressed depressed depressed
depressed depressed depressed
depressed

and you are the reason why.
yes,you.My Love.

Now i know,Love is a Sin.

12 May 2007

i feel like a fool,
waiting to see you smile to me again.
the sunshine smile was what kept me going on.
and now when it's gone,
i feel i'm in the storm.
if running away solves everything,
i'll go away.
to a place as far as i can.
i feel so regretful of my stupidity.

imissyou.

Now i know,Love is a Sin.

every minute that passed was a torture.
a minute felt like an hour.
the pain becomes more excruciating as time ticks away.
the rain drops that fell on my skin,
were like the tears that fell from my eyes.
heavy,long rain.
my fighting spirit grows weaker,
losing strength as well as my grip.
and i haven seen your smile for ages.
things turning in my mind like a whirlwind.
non-stop reminding me of times we had.
all the laughters and smiles seemed so cold now.
no longer heart warming.
in fact,its heartbreaking.
merely a lad who wanted be there all the time.
but being seen as something else.
i'm feeling the greatest regret in me.
if making a million apology helps,
you know i'd do whatever i can.
its sad,so sad that why cant we talk it over.
you left me in my tears and you wont save me anymore.
i wanna know how to make you happy.
if no more me makes you happy,
i'll be happy to be gone,just to see your smile.
so am i supposed to deserve this?
am i gonna be condemn forever?
i ruined things with my hands.

Now i know,love is a Sin.
i'm sorry.
I've Sinned,for loving you.

MISS CHERISH YEW CALLED ME.
man.cherish yew i love you lah.
whenever im down and out,you'd appear.
so i can have someone to talk to.
pour all the feeling kept deep in me.
giving me the courage to face these things that hit me down.
friends are not easy to find.
it takes fate to meet friends,
but more than that to maintain friendship.
right dude?
thanks for hearing my problems,
advice me what to do.
no1 rocks more than you do. =)

Too Serious Too Soon.

I wonder where you where
I wonder what your thinking about tonight
I wonder,
Maybe your alone
Maybe you've been crying just like me
I wonder,
I don't know why I lost your touch
Maybe I wanted to be loved too much

Too serious, too soon
I wanted you to love me
I wanted to be there for you like no one else before
Too serious, too soon
I wanted you to love me

It's been a rainy afternoon
Now I'm Staring at the moon
Thinking we got too serious, too soon

I told you every day
I told you every night in every way
I love you

Maybe you got scared
Maybe I have nothing else to say
But I love you
So baby now my life's a mess
Cause I'm
cos I couldn't love you any less

Too serious, too soon
I wanted you to love me
I wanted to be there for you like no one else before
Too serious, too soon
I wanted you to love me

It's been a rainy afternoon
Now I'm Staring at the moon
Thinking we got too serious, too soon

Too soon
It's not right
It's not fair
It's in you baby cuts like a knife
what if you were the love of my life

Too serious, too soon
I wanted you to love me
I wanted to be there for you like no one else before
Too serious, too soon
I wanted you to love me

It's been a rainy afternoon
Now I'm Staring at the moon
Thinking we got too serious, too soon.


YOU are the love of my life and you're killing me.

Its all my fault.
With greatest regret,im sorry.

now i know,Love is a sin.

Labels: did YOU realise the depression is killing me?

the virus is really killing me inside.
i can feel im not me anymore.
but i can do nothing about it.
i start acting totally like a different person.
cant control my mind,my body.
i am disappointed as much as u are.
why did things turn out this way?
the evil in me is too much for me to bear.
its taking over me.
i thought i was over with the evil.
but its coming back.
stopping me from everything.
changing me drastically.
and i no longer wish to explain myself.
tired and annoyed with questions.
because i dont have any answers for any questions.
im sorry for everything.
no longer me anymore.