Date:
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Time:
12:10 PM
23/8/07
gone with the wind.
i cant hold it anymore
you are talented at causing misery.
i'm too weak to go through all these shit
Date:
Friday, August 17, 2007
Time:
8:35 AM
17/08/07
it was a fun night ytd.
food,beer,laughter,people.
but the moment i'm left alone,
just me and myself throughout the bus journey,
thats what gets me.
when you have the time to sit and think,
you'll realise im still waiting.
that might be the last thing im asking
then again,
i've so many unanswered questions.
no longer know what to fight for
im tired
give your care to someone else
perhaps i yearn too much
Date:
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Time:
9:34 PM
13/08/07
struggling but i'm gonna put those emotions down.
clear my mind and think rationally
as i await the words to come from you.
"dont worry,its sunshine again"
and that when i turn my head,
i see my old friends around again.
the sky is dyed bloody red
thunder clasping and lightning flashing
the world is still revolving.
why do i feel this urge to be up 70storeys high?
or be out in the sea to celebrate the rain?
my imginative mind never stops working.
very tempted to go with the flow of my urge.
i'm waiting
for the lightning to strike beside me
the storm to rise around me.
Look into my eyes
You'll see a thousand of unspoken apologies
Date:
Time:
1:59 AM
12/08/07
once again,i let emotions let the better of me.
all stressed out and breaking down.
there is no escape for feeling paranoid
when you are thrown in a dark place without light,
there's no one to guide you,
no affirmation to where im heading is right.
im left speechless,
with the words that you and i uttered.
killing ourselves with it
forgive me and that i've sinned.
tell me its gonna turn better,
promise its sunshine after the rain.
im sorry
Date:
Saturday, August 11, 2007
Time:
1:58 AM
11/08/07
im shutting off.
giving up.
all the fights i fought have gone to waste.
trying so hard yet all you do is NOTHING.
utter nothing but empty things to me.
everytime i spoke to you,
you seal it with silence.
questions rebounded back at me
now i see my importance in your eyes.
do i mean anything to you?
i am most vulnerable when im alone.
let me ask you
What you know abt me crying every night?!?!
What you know abt the pain i feel inside?!?!
What you know abt struggling with the fights?!?!
you do know something.
you sure do know how to toss me like a stone,
forgetting im a human,made of flesh and im weak.
IM TORN INTO PIECES
run away from my speakings.
ignore my cry for help.
Friend,you do not seek me but another for it.
i am enraged and aggrieved!!
when i was struggling,where were you?!
when im all alone crying in the night,where were you?!
when my world crashed,where the hell were you?!
you were stepping me down,giving me another kick.
Ol'friends,you take my speakings for bullshit.Do you?
carve this on my stone
"I lived my life full of tears and disappointment"
taking things easy is what you're gd at.isnt it?
then taking the guilt n my death wldnt be a problem.
my death is your greatest masterpiece.
YOU DON"T KNOW WHAT I'M GOING THROUGH
take that last look at me before im gone too soon.
I HAD ENOUGH OF ALL THESE PRETENDANCE AND IGNORANCE
Date:
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
Time:
5:02 PM
8/8/07
what naive thinking i had
thoughts of you kept coming to my head.
hoping wishing praying waiting
has all gone to waste.
if i meant something,
show it before im gone too far.
The care and concerns i badly need,
save it for someone else
you never intended to give.
drive me up the wall and to hands of depression
i dont mean a shit to you.
paranoid insecurity
what you know abt how i'm feeling.
there were words,
Only words.
but don't you know that actions speak louder than words
its time to make a choice.
i see so clearly
even my heart is drifting
something so dear to me is slipping.
I've given upPain from gastric is eating me from inside
I'm sick of feeling
Is there nothing you can say?
Take this all away
I'm suffocating
Tell me what the fuck is wrong
With me
I don't know what to take
Thought I was focused but i'm scared
I'm not prepared
I hyperventilate
Looking for help somehow, somewhere
And no one cares
Put me out of my misery
put me out of my
Fucking misery.
wonderful pain that distracts
but leaves me yearning for concern
that none is bothered to give
Send me to the A&E.
Date:
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
Time:
11:38 AM
7/8/07
Are you lost in your lies?
Do you tell yourself I don't realize
Your crusade's a disguise?
Replace freedom with fear
You trade money for lives
I'm aware of what you've done
No more sorrow
I've paid for your mistakes
Your time is borrowed
Your time has come to be replaced
I see pain
I see need
I see liars and thieves abuse power with greed
I had hope
I believed
But I'm beginning to think that I've been deceived
You will pay for what you've done
No more sorrow
I've paid for your mistakes
Your time is borrowed
Your time has come to be replaced
Thieves and hypocrites!
Thieves and hypocrites!
Thieves and hypocrites!
No more sorrow
I've paid for your mistakes
Your time is borrowed
Your time has come to be replaced
Your time has come to be replaced
Your time has come to be erased
Date:
Monday, August 06, 2007
Time:
12:07 PM
6/8/07
I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way, to never let it get that far
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake, a smile, a laugh
Every day of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
I watched you die
I heard you cry
Every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry
In the middle of the night
For the same damn thing
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I tried my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid
Because of you.
Date:
Sunday, August 05, 2007
Time:
11:11 PM
5/8/07
run and hide from the truth in your eyes.
guilt will be crawling up on you.
wipe the tears and blood on me,
you will see the wounds your lies inflicted.
and you will be alone,
alone with your secrets and regrets.
i seek peace.
but then again,choices are to be made for certain things.
emotions got hold of my situation,
you let cruelty caught hold of yours.
hatred consumed me,
its the biggest part of your artwork.
be there as much as you can.
for i'm losing my grip.
way too painful
its the max i can take,i've reached my limits.
prove me trusting you is right.
take a pointer and teach me to be happy
Date:
Saturday, August 04, 2007
Time:
11:16 PM
4/08/07
Its showtime for distance.
appearance may look the same,
but what lies between is all masked up.
the truth in your lies,doubt in your faith
is taking over my head.
Alone i stand,drained of my strength
wielding my sword stained with blood of mine.
bare footed on broken fragments of glass,
im at the wrong place.
shoutings
stabbings
blood flowing
wound splitting,
there wasnt room for thinking.
changing sides and heart,
is this some kind of art?
recall the words you speak,
then realise how much you lied.
i was promised the sky,
but tossed like a stone.
you ought to drown in your guilt.
return me the smile that came from my heart.
its rude to take things that DONT BELONG to you.
arent you ashamed of yourself?