You will never walk in my shoes

Be A Good Kid & Shut Up

The name is Swan and I'm not short, just unusually not tall. Nothing in me but overflowing emotions that I can't handle. I AM UNIQUE.

Date: Sunday, August 31, 2008

Time: 11:54 PM

Walking In The Rain

Sitting by the window singing songs of love.
Wishing you were here because the memory's not enough.
Wear my mask in silence, Pretending i'm alright.
If you could see then you would be here standing by my side.
It may be hard to believe,
But girl you're the only one i need.
It may be hard along the way,
It's this feeling i get, When blue skies turn to grey.
Feels like i'm walking in the rain,
I find myself trying to wash away the pain.
Cause i need you to give me some shelter,
Cause i'm fading away.
And baby, i'm walking in the rain.
Every single hour of every single day,
I need to cry, my eyes are dry.
I've cried my tears away
Can't help but remember how you made me feel.
You dressed my soul and made me whole,
You made my life complete.
Of all we've said and done,
Remains the memories of days when life was fun.
But now when you are gone,
I sit alone to watch the setting of the sun.

Cracked my brains for activities for tmr
To celebrate Teacher's Day for you.
Everything is screwed up from ppl backing out,
to the limited things we can do in Singapore.
I'm sorry I can't do anything right at all.
Fucked up,everything's fucked up,im fucked up
WHY AM I SUCH A FAILURE?!!
Can't catch your heart,can't even plan a day for you
No wonder,you don't love me anymore

Digging a hole to bury myself,
failures die thats how they all end up.
I'm disappointed with you guys somehow in a way

Date: Saturday, August 30, 2008

Time: 12:43 AM

30/8/08

Fool again

Went Play ytd and met her friend and came to know,
2 people in her life now.
Colleague and bla bla
Now everything comes into a clearer picture.
Maybe the feelings for another had grown,
thats why our love drift and you dont love me anymore.
All the possibilities running through my head,
but it doesnt matter anymore.
Since you can move on within 3 weeks with 2 ppl in your life,
what is there of us for me to keep holding on?
When i was crying my eyes out these 3 weeks,
my dear you were out partying and enjoying.
Oh just what a fool i've been
I start to understand the things you said and your actions.
As much as its hurting me right now,
I can only force myself to think of everything that is bad,
force myself to move on thinking abt the ppl you have in your life now.
Sorry Sharon,that i'm not good enough for you.
All the things i've been doing these weeks seem so meaningless now.
So tired physically and mentally
Just why did I fall in love with you,
only to cause myself such hurt and live in this misery.
I dont regret loving you,I only regret not able to make you love me.

"Someone asked me if I can give her the best future,
But no one in this world is perfect.
I know that I'm not,but I'll give her my best.
Thats all it matters"

I'm Wonder-woman cause I cant stop wondering.
My COLLEAGUE Jenna is The Thing,she cant stop thing-king.

All the things you said keep running through my head
Quit fooling,its a heart that you're breaking

Date: Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Time: 3:04 PM

27/8/08

I'm lying alone with my head on the phone,
thinking of you till it hurts.
I dont know if you hurt too but what else can i do,
Im tormented and torn apart.
I wish I could carry your smile and my heart,
for now my life seems so low.
I'm all out of love, Im so lost without you
I know you were right believing for so long
I'm all out of love, what am I without you?
I can't be too late to say that I was wrong.
I want you to come back and carry me home,
away from this long lonely nights.
I'm reaching for you, are you feeling it too?
And what would you say if I called on you now,
And say that I can't hold on.
There's no easy way, it gets harder each day for me.
Please love me or I'll be gone, I'll be gone.

Been to Pahang for the past few days,
just to get away from all the emotions.
But sadly,it doesnt seems to work at all.
The thoughts,imaginations,emotions still haunts me
I pen it all down in the lil diary you gave
As i pen i soak the pages with those persistant tears of mine.
I wish i could chop off my legs so i cant go,
I wish i could blow my head off so i cant think,
I wish i could set things right so i wont be like this,
I wish i could,I just sit wish and wait.
The song that goes "I'll wait and you take your time"

My inside is chanting,
Swan,Learn not to expect cause you're only a friend

Date: Sunday, August 24, 2008

Time: 7:35 PM

24/8/08

She's always on my mind,
From the time I wake up till I close my eyes.
She's everywhere I go,she's all I know
And though she's far away,
It just keeps getting stronger everyday
And even now she's gone,I'm still holding on
So tell me where do I start?
Cause it's breaking my heart,don't wanna let her go.
Maybe my love will come back someday
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
Only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope and pray
'cause heaven knows.
My friends keep tellin' me
That if you really love her,you've gotta set her free.
And if she returns in time,I know she's mine
So tell me where do I start?
Cause it's breaking my heart,don't wanna let her go
Why I live in despair
'Cause wide awake or dreaming,I know she's never there
And all this time I act so brave,I'm shaking inside
Why does it hurt me so?

I didnt mean to tire you out girl,
Didnt mean to pin everything on you.
From the start of your work,I wanted to share your burden
All i wanted to do was to share your joy and sadness.
Now even though things have change a big bit,
I'll still be there for you
And i know that there's others out there you'd rather spill to.
But should you decide to pick the phone and dial my number,
i'll be ready and my eyes are on standby 24hrs for you.
There's alot i dont understand but i'll try,i'll learn.
Explain and i'll understand
Let me be there for you

No longer know what you do
I saw my mistake,i saw the cause
and now all im asking is to set things right.
We'll start off as friends

Date: Thursday, August 21, 2008

Time: 3:48 AM

21/8/08

Tons of things happened during these times.
From having love to losing it
From having friends to shutting myself away from them.
I guess that is how the disaster in my life happened.
Cause of shutting myself away from friends,
it made me revolve myself around love and love only,
putting all i had and wanted in love.
Only to find that i used the wrong side of me to be in love,
and thus the downfall begins...
From not feeling taken care of,to dating a kid,
to not able to give me attention you need,to not giving enough understanding,
till our love drift,till i dont love you anymore.
-Said she

After reading blogs and posts about me do i realize my mistake.
The very one that i made on my birthday that got me this ending.
I've lost love as well as friends/buddies
Im so caught up with handling love that i neglected friends.
The very mistake that i made,
causing me to revolve ard love only got me here today.
What i have left of this game,nothing
You may mock at my foolishness and resent my decisions,
but all i have to say for now is " Im sorry "
Sorry that i walked away
Sorry that you have no more crazyfren
Sorry that you have no bangala
Sorry that you have no more chip
Sorry you have no more madness
Sorry you have no more emo girl,
but im very emo now.
Sorry you have no 4sin outing
Sorry you have no madness gathering
Sorry you have no more sunday lunch
Sorry you have no more kolar bear hugs
Sorry you have no more jia you crazyfren
Sorry you have no more si fei de
Sorry you have no more bananas
Sorry you have no more shua pi qi ah
Sorry you have no more ni shi huai ren
Sorry you have no more this and that you used to have
Sorry i walked out on you guys,
and i have my karma now.
Believe or not yes karma is on me now
i've lost everything including love,
Cause i walked out and pinned everything to love unknowingly
If i had realise it earlier,it wouldnt have been this way.
Sorry for everything everything everything

Sorry to my innocent love:
Im sorry girl that i pinned my everything on you
Sorry that i suffocated you with my childish-ness
Sorry for not taking care of you
Sorry you had to take care of me instead
Sorry for demanding friends attention from you as well
Sorry for not being understanding towards you
Sorry for being such a spoilt brat
Sorry for not meeting your expectations of me
Sorry im not good enough for you
Sorry for being immature
Sorry for revolving myself around you only
Sorry for our love that drifted
Sorry that you dont love me anymore
Sorry its all my fault
Sorry i cant see you as a friend
Sorry i cant help doing things for you
Sorry i cant help thinking abt what we went through
Sorry i cant help thinking abt you
Sorry i cant help wanting to see you
Sorry i cant give you all you need
Sorry i cant forget your smile
Sorry i cant forget your hug
Sorry i cant forget your words to me
Sorry i cant forget places we went
Sorry i cant forget what we ate
Sorry i cant forget things we said
Sorry i cant forget my promises to you
Sorry i cant forget you,my love
Sorry i cant forget 16July the day i tried
Sorry i cant forget how we met
Sorry i cant forget how we started
Sorry i cant forget the late night car chats
Sorry i cant forget the car rides
Sorry i cant forget the way you call me
Sorry i cant forget the way you whine
Sorry i cant forget the way you cry
Sorry i cant forget the way you laugh
Sorry i cant forget the way you bright up my day
Sorry i cant forget your angry fierce face
Sorry i cant forget the things you did for me
Sorry i cant forget the very day you sent me to sch
Sorry i cant forget the very day you cook for me
Sorry i cant forget your delicious ai xin meesua
Sorry i cant forget your likes and dislikes
Sorry i cant forget you love apples
Sorry i cant forget the way you eat and drink
Sorry i cant forget the silly faces you show me
Sorry i cant forget you comforting me on my birthday
Sorry i cant forget the nights we hug to sleep at camp
Sorry i cant forget how you said i look like stitch
Sorry i cant forget how i was falling in love with you each day
Sorry i cant forget how you say you miss me
Sorry i cant forget how you say you love me
Sorry i cant forget how important you are to me
Sorry i cant forget how i called you ling
Sorry i cant stop crying and crying
Sorry to tire you out with stupid issuses
Sorry i cant forget the things abt you and me
I'm sorry that i cant convince you to try again
Ling,im so so sorry for pinning my expectations of frens on you,
stressing you out and let our love die just like that.
Ling,im sorry!
Ling i miss you :(

What do i got to do?

Be A Good Kid & Shut Up
Yours Truly The name is Swan and I'm not short, just unusually not tall. Nothing in me but overflowing emotions that I can't handle. I AM UNIQUE. TheVentingMachine Exits Link Link Link Link Link Rewind January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 Credits Host: Blogger Layout © the bikini boy	Date: Sunday, August 31, 2008 Time: 11:54 PM Walking In The Rain Sitting by the window singing songs of love. Wishing you were here because the memory's not enough. Wear my mask in silence, Pretending i'm alright. If you could see then you would be here standing by my side. It may be hard to believe, But girl you're the only one i need. It may be hard along the way, It's this feeling i get, When blue skies turn to grey. Feels like i'm walking in the rain, I find myself trying to wash away the pain. Cause i need you to give me some shelter, Cause i'm fading away. And baby, i'm walking in the rain. Every single hour of every single day, I need to cry, my eyes are dry. I've cried my tears away Can't help but remember how you made me feel. You dressed my soul and made me whole, You made my life complete. Of all we've said and done, Remains the memories of days when life was fun. But now when you are gone, I sit alone to watch the setting of the sun. Cracked my brains for activities for tmr To celebrate Teacher's Day for you. Everything is screwed up from ppl backing out, to the limited things we can do in Singapore. I'm sorry I can't do anything right at all. Fucked up,everything's fucked up,im fucked up WHY AM I SUCH A FAILURE?!! Can't catch your heart,can't even plan a day for you No wonder,you don't love me anymore Digging a hole to bury myself, failures die thats how they all end up. I'm disappointed with you guys somehow in a way Date: Saturday, August 30, 2008 Time: 12:43 AM 30/8/08 Fool again Went Play ytd and met her friend and came to know, 2 people in her life now. Colleague and bla bla Now everything comes into a clearer picture. Maybe the feelings for another had grown, thats why our love drift and you dont love me anymore. All the possibilities running through my head, but it doesnt matter anymore. Since you can move on within 3 weeks with 2 ppl in your life, what is there of us for me to keep holding on? When i was crying my eyes out these 3 weeks, my dear you were out partying and enjoying. Oh just what a fool i've been I start to understand the things you said and your actions. As much as its hurting me right now, I can only force myself to think of everything that is bad, force myself to move on thinking abt the ppl you have in your life now. Sorry Sharon,that i'm not good enough for you. All the things i've been doing these weeks seem so meaningless now. So tired physically and mentally Just why did I fall in love with you, only to cause myself such hurt and live in this misery. I dont regret loving you,I only regret not able to make you love me. "Someone asked me if I can give her the best future, But no one in this world is perfect. I know that I'm not,but I'll give her my best. Thats all it matters" I'm Wonder-woman cause I cant stop wondering. My COLLEAGUE Jenna is The Thing,she cant stop thing-king. All the things you said keep running through my head Quit fooling,its a heart that you're breaking Date: Wednesday, August 27, 2008 Time: 3:04 PM 27/8/08 I'm lying alone with my head on the phone, thinking of you till it hurts. I dont know if you hurt too but what else can i do, Im tormented and torn apart. I wish I could carry your smile and my heart, for now my life seems so low. I'm all out of love, Im so lost without you I know you were right believing for so long I'm all out of love, what am I without you? I can't be too late to say that I was wrong. I want you to come back and carry me home, away from this long lonely nights. I'm reaching for you, are you feeling it too? And what would you say if I called on you now, And say that I can't hold on. There's no easy way, it gets harder each day for me. Please love me or I'll be gone, I'll be gone. Been to Pahang for the past few days, just to get away from all the emotions. But sadly,it doesnt seems to work at all. The thoughts,imaginations,emotions still haunts me I pen it all down in the lil diary you gave As i pen i soak the pages with those persistant tears of mine. I wish i could chop off my legs so i cant go, I wish i could blow my head off so i cant think, I wish i could set things right so i wont be like this, I wish i could,I just sit wish and wait. The song that goes "I'll wait and you take your time" My inside is chanting, Swan,Learn not to expect cause you're only a friend Date: Sunday, August 24, 2008 Time: 7:35 PM 24/8/08 She's always on my mind, From the time I wake up till I close my eyes. She's everywhere I go,she's all I know And though she's far away, It just keeps getting stronger everyday And even now she's gone,I'm still holding on So tell me where do I start? Cause it's breaking my heart,don't wanna let her go. Maybe my love will come back someday Only heaven knows And maybe our hearts will find a way Only heaven knows And all I can do is hope and pray 'cause heaven knows. My friends keep tellin' me That if you really love her,you've gotta set her free. And if she returns in time,I know she's mine So tell me where do I start? Cause it's breaking my heart,don't wanna let her go Why I live in despair 'Cause wide awake or dreaming,I know she's never there And all this time I act so brave,I'm shaking inside Why does it hurt me so? I didnt mean to tire you out girl, Didnt mean to pin everything on you. From the start of your work,I wanted to share your burden All i wanted to do was to share your joy and sadness. Now even though things have change a big bit, I'll still be there for you And i know that there's others out there you'd rather spill to. But should you decide to pick the phone and dial my number, i'll be ready and my eyes are on standby 24hrs for you. There's alot i dont understand but i'll try,i'll learn. Explain and i'll understand Let me be there for you No longer know what you do I saw my mistake,i saw the cause and now all im asking is to set things right. We'll start off as friends Date: Thursday, August 21, 2008 Time: 3:48 AM 21/8/08 Tons of things happened during these times. From having love to losing it From having friends to shutting myself away from them. I guess that is how the disaster in my life happened. Cause of shutting myself away from friends, it made me revolve myself around love and love only, putting all i had and wanted in love. Only to find that i used the wrong side of me to be in love, and thus the downfall begins... From not feeling taken care of,to dating a kid, to not able to give me attention you need,to not giving enough understanding, till our love drift,till i dont love you anymore. -Said she After reading blogs and posts about me do i realize my mistake. The very one that i made on my birthday that got me this ending. I've lost love as well as friends/buddies Im so caught up with handling love that i neglected friends. The very mistake that i made, causing me to revolve ard love only got me here today. What i have left of this game,nothing You may mock at my foolishness and resent my decisions, but all i have to say for now is " Im sorry " Sorry that i walked away Sorry that you have no more crazyfren Sorry that you have no bangala Sorry that you have no more chip Sorry you have no more madness Sorry you have no more emo girl, but im very emo now. Sorry you have no 4sin outing Sorry you have no madness gathering Sorry you have no more sunday lunch Sorry you have no more kolar bear hugs Sorry you have no more jia you crazyfren Sorry you have no more si fei de Sorry you have no more bananas Sorry you have no more shua pi qi ah Sorry you have no more ni shi huai ren Sorry you have no more this and that you used to have Sorry i walked out on you guys, and i have my karma now. Believe or not yes karma is on me now i've lost everything including love, Cause i walked out and pinned everything to love unknowingly If i had realise it earlier,it wouldnt have been this way. Sorry for everything everything everything Sorry to my innocent love: Im sorry girl that i pinned my everything on you Sorry that i suffocated you with my childish-ness Sorry for not taking care of you Sorry you had to take care of me instead Sorry for demanding friends attention from you as well Sorry for not being understanding towards you Sorry for being such a spoilt brat Sorry for not meeting your expectations of me Sorry im not good enough for you Sorry for being immature Sorry for revolving myself around you only Sorry for our love that drifted Sorry that you dont love me anymore Sorry its all my fault Sorry i cant see you as a friend Sorry i cant help doing things for you Sorry i cant help thinking abt what we went through Sorry i cant help thinking abt you Sorry i cant help wanting to see you Sorry i cant give you all you need Sorry i cant forget your smile Sorry i cant forget your hug Sorry i cant forget your words to me Sorry i cant forget places we went Sorry i cant forget what we ate Sorry i cant forget things we said Sorry i cant forget my promises to you Sorry i cant forget you,my love Sorry i cant forget 16July the day i tried Sorry i cant forget how we met Sorry i cant forget how we started Sorry i cant forget the late night car chats Sorry i cant forget the car rides Sorry i cant forget the way you call me Sorry i cant forget the way you whine Sorry i cant forget the way you cry Sorry i cant forget the way you laugh Sorry i cant forget the way you bright up my day Sorry i cant forget your angry fierce face Sorry i cant forget the things you did for me Sorry i cant forget the very day you sent me to sch Sorry i cant forget the very day you cook for me Sorry i cant forget your delicious ai xin meesua Sorry i cant forget your likes and dislikes Sorry i cant forget you love apples Sorry i cant forget the way you eat and drink Sorry i cant forget the silly faces you show me Sorry i cant forget you comforting me on my birthday Sorry i cant forget the nights we hug to sleep at camp Sorry i cant forget how you said i look like stitch Sorry i cant forget how i was falling in love with you each day Sorry i cant forget how you say you miss me Sorry i cant forget how you say you love me Sorry i cant forget how important you are to me Sorry i cant forget how i called you ling Sorry i cant stop crying and crying Sorry to tire you out with stupid issuses Sorry i cant forget the things abt you and me I'm sorry that i cant convince you to try again Ling,im so so sorry for pinning my expectations of frens on you, stressing you out and let our love die just like that. Ling,im sorry! Ling i miss you :( What do i got to do?