Date:
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Time:
11:59 PM
31/07/07
it was the toughest night all these while.
i have failed terribly.
failed myself so terribly.
things meant to be sealed and kept deep within,
anger,frustrations,hurt,sadness,disappointment,
all came out.
out from that breaking heart.
unfortunately,it doesnt stops the pain.
i shall blame me.
for being in the wrong place and think im right.
I DONT BELONG HERE.
well,at least im showed that i dont.
in the midst of chaos,
you stabbed me.
in the midst of chaos,
i was stabbed.
in the midst of chaos,
i was left dying alone.
in the midst of chaos,
you left me dying on my own.
what exactly did i lose to?
in that midst of chaos,
i lost it all at once.
ITS THE FUN THAT BRINGS THE SORROWS
its been a bad day.
when everyone turned their heads away,
would you do the same?
when everyone took their steps back,
would you do the same?
i could sense the answer.
and please tell me that im wrong.
deep in my heart,
i pray that its gonna be just like before.
i missed you,my ol' friends.
Date:
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Time:
8:59 PM
29/07/07
begining to enjoy the pain that chew on my muscles.
its yet another way to numb me.
the virus in me is spreading,all over my body.
that morning i stood at an old friend's grave.
the next thing that could happen,
You standing at my grave.
don't wanna lose it all without a fight.
you may be strong and well,
but take a look at me.
im down and out with cuts and bruises you actions left.
i rest in peace only when i hear u call me,
"my ol'friend" from the bottom of your heart.
i missed you,my ol' friends.
miss the good ol' times.
miss the good ol' familiar laughters.
miss everything that came from the heart.
truely,purely from the heart.
when trust is lost,
we're gonna lose it all.
when are u gonna take this broken trust
and mend it back with your heart.
Date:
Friday, July 27, 2007
Time:
5:58 PM
27/07/07
finally back after so long.
time will cover this wound,
put the broken pieces in a corner of my mind.
the pain will not go away.
the tears will not be cried for nothing.
drenching myself in the rain didnt help sobering my mind.
I spent the morning at an old friend's grave.
Flowers and amazing grace,he was a good man.
But he spent his whole life spinning his wheels,
Never knowing how the whole thing feels.
He never took the chance or took the time to dance.
And i stood there thinking as i said goodbye,
Today's the first day of the rest of my life.
Im gonna stop looking back.
Start moving on,learn how to face my fears.
Love with all of my heart,make my mark.
I wanna leave something here.
And when they carve my stone,they'll write these words
"Here lies a Man who lived life for all it was worth."
We used to see each other everyday,
dont you miss those days?
Date:
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Time:
9:56 PM
19/07/07
why dont we live and let live?
does it make you feel any better this way?
what is the problem here?
its all about understanding.
are you happy only to see me dead?!
dont you love the life you kill?
Date:
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Time:
7:55 PM
18/07/07
im hanging by a string,
at the edge of a cliff.
the string is you.
you are what that will save me,or kill me.
i miss the times,
when everything hasnt changed any bit.
i miss the days,
we spent laughing all day long.
everything just keeps replaying in my head.
what is fair?
if its my fault,let me take the wrongs and redo it.
very much wanna show i can forget and move on,
well blame myself that im too weak.
i cant live with it chucked at the back of my head,
not doing anything to save it.
i wanna fight for it cos i,
treasure
cherish
love.
dont you see it's draining me away?
Date:
Monday, July 16, 2007
Time:
11:25 PM
16/07/07
i will keep running,
till i drop dead on the ground.
and its not going to take very long.
take the blade and slit my veins,
let the blood flow and squirt.
all over your body and face,
then u will hear what the voices in me said.
mockings,scoldings,preachings.encouragements,
you will hear them clearly and remember it.
those were what drove me down.
im falling
im falling
im falling
the words you speak cut me like broken pieces of glass
you are unaware,cos of the lies around us.
when sober and clear,
i have alrdy fallen on the cold,hard ground.
with not a single feel of pain anymore.
keep me going,will you?
Date:
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Time:
6:35 PM
15/07/07
the wind blowing
clouds floating
sun shining
bird chirping
sea waves crashing
pain is still so excruciating.
just need to know
to understand
to accept
to live and let live.
but why cant IT see my pain?
i must bear with it
i must perserve
i must keep going
must not give up
must not give up
must not give up.
for the hope that one day,
IT will uds the pain i've gone thru.
just to treasure.
i need you to keep me going.
God is not here today,
den who shall answer my prayers?
Date:
Friday, July 13, 2007
Time:
11:23 PM
13/07/07
its not the same anymore.
perhaps it never will,ever again.
in my heart i pray and pray,
for it to go back to what it used to be.
cant find anything to describe how much it means,
how much i do treasure and love.
but I'm living in a world of darkness.
everyday I'm thankful to still have it.
thankful that i still can smile in front of it.
but who knows,
deep down I'm drowning in my tears?
what am i left with
what's left in this tightly clenched fist
where will i be at next
what is ahead.
filled with all the uncertainties,
i feel like a lost soul.
in our hearts,
we know it so clearly.
does treasuring repays?
do we ready reap what we sow?
i'd like to tell it,
im treasuring
treasuring
treasuring
but no one sees it.
blow up my head with that pistol,
if you take it away.
Date:
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Time:
5:46 PM
12/07/07
why not take my life.
straight and clean,
if you're gonna take away everything.
does seeing sufferings make u happy?
should start thinking how to clone another me.
things held tightly turned out to be nothing.
with blink of an eye,
the world is actually this dark.
tears and pain will go away,
when the moment comes.
i bear what i must,to make it up.
nowhere else to go.
i fall.
iloveyoumum.
leaving you is the last thing i'll ever do.
its coming.
Date:
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Time:
11:36 PM
10/07/07
homed straight after school. :)
there was fogging of rubbish chutes at my area,
so cockroaches were everywhere at the void decks!!
eeww.damn those cockroaches.
#~@!$^&?*%
scared the shit out of me lor.
they were practically ALL OVER THE PLACE!
some dead,some still struggling,some alive and crawling.
i nearly died of shock.
watched movie the whole day.
mummy was saying my eyeballs almost dropped out,
cos i was sooo engrossed in watching.
lols.
thanks Furby and April !!!
i will jia you de!!!cannot give up sp easily!!
April,we must jia you together okay.
Jia you,Jia you,Jia you!!!!!!
Date:
Monday, July 09, 2007
Time:
11:38 PM
09/07/07
first day back to sch!!
went to sch with crazyfren and yun ru.
classmates can see the difference in my hair!!
happy happy.
just before training,ate chicken rice.
cos i got tempted by hui ping lah.
den during training suffer from stich.
ran ran ran,
crab walk,crab walk,crab walk.
nearly died.
i concluded that just have to survive the runnings and crab walk,
den can survive the whole training liao.
lastly,played four on four.
halfway thru,one person injured her ankle.
so had to end the training earlier.
And i realised something!!!
majority of us cant stop eating once we're seated in cafe.
horrible eaters.
am i too impatient?
or its that im just not good at it?
feeling very frustrated with myself for being so inferior.
cant shoot,cant layup,cant get rebound.
whatever also cannot lor.
dunno why i play ball for!!
tsk.
-slaps-
no formation,no teamwork,no nothing.
why why why!
i begin to doubt my abilities very much.
im sorry crazyfren.
thanks for putting up with all the nonsenses.
sorry madness.
for those childish tantrums.
havent been feeling gd these days.
-peace-
Date:
Sunday, July 08, 2007
Time:
11:40 PM
08/07/07
went present hunting with furby,crazyfren,ping and yun ru.
it was such a headache process.
and we adpoted a god son!!
here's his handsome pics..
he looks abit sick in this outfit.hahas
aww,isnt he smart looking?
my god son is a handsome prince!!
such a cool chap right?
LOVES.
headed home went crazyfren and yun ru.
fell aslp in bus and nearly fell off my seat lah!!
went to check something out at sengkang interchange,
and it woke me up!!!
WE FOUND AH PEK'S GIAM SEN TEE!!!
and as promised,i bought it for crazyfren.
10 bottles.hahahas.
she can eat until her mouth rot liao..
was supposed to buy 1 carton de,
but no more stock.
LOLS.
cant wait for tmr's training!!!!
i miss coach!!!!
Date:
Time:
1:53 AM
07/07/07
WELCOME BACK,APRIL AND CRAZYFREN!!!!!
happy happy happy.
finally they are back from HK.
missed them like crazy lah.
ps:CF,don say nv miss you hor.I DID OKAY!!!
april!!!when is xiao mei and ah wang gg dating??
so sorry April !!!
didnt make it in time to fetch her,
cos all of us were spread out in diff parts of spore.
THANKS CRAZYFREN,FOR THE TEE SHIRT.
greeny puma tee!!!
aww..isnt she sweet?hahas
so all of us got the things we wanted.right?
del with her spongebob figures and wallet,
furby with her jeans,
ping with her shirt too.
satisfactory
LOVES.
misses misses and much misses.
next,i would like to praise myself.
a com noob managed to change the blogskin.
and change the templates.
damn,aint i a smart-ass?
Date:
Friday, July 06, 2007
Time:
6:49 PM
06.07.07
buffet for dinner ytd.
new SB from dad aft much tantrums.
LOLS.
feeling damn bored this few days.
time ticking by while i sit.
seeing the sky turn from blue to black.
the sun up in the sky to setting down.
and so i wish my life can be more exciting.
anything else to play in spore?
im seriously dying of boredom.
HELP!!!!
sch starting soon.
projects will be piling up very soon too.
i wanna fly solo to some other country.
guess it'll be fun,but i'll die of boredom.
tsk.
i need more fun in my boring life!!!
damn.
Date:
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
Time:
6:15 PM
04.07.07
time now is 6.15pm.
i just woke up.
dear madness,pls dont go overseas too often.
or we will die very soon.
spent the night over at ping's house,
only slept for ard 1hr i think.
4.30am everyone woke up and we got ready,
took cab down to airport to meet april.
send her off and went T2 eat breakfast.
MISS YUN RU TAKES 7 MIN TO FINISH ONE PIECE OF HOTCAKE!!
aftthat went back to T1 to meet crazyfren.
acc her until she went in.
den we went for a drink and homed.
shag.
everyone keep going overseas,
me and furby only send send send.
den xiang yi wei ming..
when will it be our turn!!!
wahahahaha.
FURBY!!pack your bag,we oso go leh.
April!!i miss your "xiao mei" and blur-ness.
Crazyfren!! miss your craziness!!! "wei,zhao shui?zhao chou nu!!"
Date:
Monday, July 02, 2007
Time:
9:42 PM
02.07.07
had basketball training early in the morning.
so tired can!!!
met up with Yun Ru and Crazyfren in the bus.
sleep sleep sleep...
had mac for breakfast.
everyone was stone-ing at the table lah.
LOLS.
our faces were like Zzzzzzz...
headed for sch.
warm up at stadium,and went up to indoor court.
NEARLY DIED OF SUFFOCATION THERE CAN!!!!
damn stuffy lah,not enough oxygen.
so we were all panting aft short runs.
-Faints-
i just love training sooo much!!!
coachy is so CUTE.
thiong gim ji dao wu lang.
hahahahahahas.
watched die hard 4.0 with kong,ping,furby,edwin,jas.
aft the nasi lemak,i was dozing off with crazyfren.
eating popcorn with chicken wing sucks to the core!!!
thanks Kai Lang Bing!!!!!!!
for the post you promised.
but like still got 1 dozen of bing qi ling hor?
and 100 jia gongs.Hahas!!
Date:
Time:
1:24 AM
02.07.07
down and out.
beaten and not a fighter anymore.
so i cried upon hearing the voice of kai lang bing.
in this comfort zone,im suffocated.
from this unknown day,
i sealed my door to the world.
in me i felt something,this anger.
for Man.
You disgust me,disgusting creatures.
masked with everything fake.
is this supposed to be?
are we born to live this way?
Kai lang bing:thanks for listening to my nonsense.
Jia you,jia you,jia you!!!!